Magical Development
by Lord Mu Harlock
Summary: Set during season two of the award winning series, GOB discovers that he might be more magically than he thought. It is also a Harry Potter crossover. You have been warned. Note, I own neither Arrested Development or Harry Potter.
1. Chapter 1: Flying Segway

1

Magical Development

Part 1 of 7

Arrested Development/Harry Potter Crossover

"The Flying Segway"

George Senior sat on his usual spot in the Model Home that he had built just before he went to Prison, Mexico, and a Ford Dealership. He almost bought a Ford Escape: an ironically named vehicle. So, have you driven a Ford lately?

Regardless, he was looking for his only friend at the moment. His daughter Lindsay had left her former doll Pansy up in the Bluth attic where George had been using it for venting and tea parties.

"So do you want another biscuit or some afternoon delight, Pansy?"

We're going to stop it there for the flashback because it gets a bit too descriptive, but trust me, it could have been a lot worse. Tobias used Pansy for a stand-in during his time training for the role of George.

Tobias stands in the room that he shares with Lindsay. He has Lindsay playing herself. "Now, Lucille let's go take an interesting tour of your nether regions," said Tobias trying to emulate George Sr. However, he sounded more like a constipated Shakespearian actor. Lindsay gagged and left the room as Tobias had his only afternoon delight with Pansy.

George Sr. finally found Pansy when Lindsay threw the doll back in the attic after disgust with her husband and the fact that it was too much work to put on E-Bay. In fact, it is quite easy to just post an auction. Lindsay just was more distracted that day by VH1 Remember the Eighties Marathon of the Coreys.

When George wasn't looking, Pansy hit him in the head. This caused him to bang into a beam. The on-the-run patriarch fell to the floor. However he had no idea if it was the still stagnant insecticides or the fact that he hadn't been feed that day. However, Pansy started to talk.

"Where's my money! You little Mungle!"

George Sr. started to wonder if he was finally going insane. "Pansy is this because I let you get taken by my "daughter." She means nothing to me. You have to understand," pleaded Geroge Sr.

Pansy got up on her cloth legs. Cleaning herself off with cloth arms without fingers, she walked over to George Sr. "I don't care, Yank. However, I'm not Pansy. I am Mr. F."

If on cue, a musical interlude played, "Mr. F."

"What! Haven't you done enough? It's because of you that I ended up in jail. I wish Lucille never introduced you to me at that party. Regardless of if you are a family friend?" Remember that point, it will play an important part later.

The doll suddenly shook. Then a swirl and a mist jumped out of the doll, and suddenly a man in a bad suit a couple of years out of fashion appeared out of smoke. However, his most recognized aspect was the derby hat that he wore. It was former Minster of Magic Cornelius Fudge of the United Kingdom.

He sat back in the chair that George usually used to have his tea parties in. Let's not go back there.

"I could care less if you lost your freedom."

This upset George Sr. because it was Fudge who had suggested doing business in Iraq. The reason was because he had no idea about what Iraq was. You see Fudge failed Wizarding Geography at Hogwarts. You'd think that was a requirement for a Minister of Magic, but you'd be surprised.

"What just because you told me that you knew a couple of Wizards in Iraq who wanted some quality housing? Then you assured me that it wasn't with Saddam. Then again, you had no idea who was Saddam, so you just answer that it was with that GreybeardwolfBob of the Tigress."

Fudge was a bit upset by that response. "Greywolf is a well respected wizard. The fact that he had Saddam as a client wasn't the issue. Plus, I thought that he was from Persiana."

"Persiana is Iraq, you twit!"

"Well excuse me, but I'm not here to get yelled it. I want to know why I haven't been paid to keep your little secret quiet."

George suddenly clutched his chin. Then he scratched his head. It was still rough from hitting his head on the beam. "What are you talking about? Oh my God, I've made a horrible mistake."

You see earlier in the week Michael who currently ran the Bluth Company had discovered a strange account in the books. It was buried pretty far down in the number in outgoing payments. Plus it was pretty big. It only read "M&M Fudge." After considering it for a couple of minutes, Michael finally decided to use the two million dollars that went annually to pay for m&ms and fudge to build a new development in Kansas. In fact he had just that morning come to talk to George Sr.

"Dad, why were you paying for two million dollars for candy and fudge? This had better not be another one of your famous laundering plans?"

"Michael, you know I don't like fudge. Plus, M&Ms always melt in my hands. Now what did you bring for breakfast?"

Instead of answering, Michael left because he thought that he was getting the run around by George Sr. However, the old man did really hate fudge. However, he was hungry that day.

"You know I really could go for some fudge and M&Ms right now. I bet my worthless brother Oscar is eating Fudge right now." In fact, he was.

However there were bigger issues at stake than fudge and hunger. A dark secret in the Bluth family was about to be unleashed.

"You got to give me more time," pleaded George to the shabbly dressed Wizard. "Michael doesn't understand his mother's side of the family. I can't have them suddenly displaying powers!"

"I'm a busy wizard, but no money now means that is bloody over. Tell, Luca Parkinson that I said hi."

Then with a flash, Fudge was gone. George Sr. started to walk up and down the attic with hatred in his eyes. Then he suddenly wondered what would happen if Michael inherited magic. Then he suddenly realized that it could be worse. It could be G.O.B. .

If on cue, G.O.B was riding his segway around Orange County looking for the address of a 3rd place beauty contestant when suddenly he felt a new feeling of power as if suddenly he was filled with unlimited power. Like he was wearing a two million dollar suit! In fact, his suit was now golden cloth and his Segway was floating off the ground. This warranted a couple of stairs from pedestrians and even some motorists.

"What you've never seen someone in a two million dollar suit! Come On!"

In fact, the people took his suggestion, and they came on. Soon G.O.B. had an audience that he had always wanted. Though for the life of him, he couldn't figure out why he only saw their heads.

So he decided to do impromptu magic show. However, he fell from six feet in the air. His segway flew into the air. Over the moon it shot to where it was seen by Maeby Funke, his niece, working as a studio executive. Looking up at the sky, she thought for a moment that she saw an iconic image. "Nay, it's too eighties." The Segway kept on climbing till it hit orbit. Remember this because it will be important later.

However, George Oscar Bluth finally had an audience stunned. He had actually made a woman disappear infront of their eyes. Plus, he had made her come back thirty years younger. In fact, he went out with the now twenty-something woman after his first real magic show. However, he still had a strange thought about the situation.

The next day, G.O.B arrived at the same time as Michael at their mother's penthouse. Michael was upset about the fudge account. "Mom, have you been buying f. . . A better question is have you eaten anything ever?" The matriarch of the family Bluth felt blighted. "Now, Michael just because I'm not going to be featured like Lindsay in the Macy's Day Parade. Doesn't mean that . . . Did you almost say Fudge?"

Lucille had been distracted by Lindsay at the door trying to listen into what Michael was upset about that she suddenly realized something horribly was happening. "You didn't cancel the Fudge Account, Michael?"

Michael smiled. "Somebody in this family has to be responsible and legal. I'm tired of finding more and more lies in this family."

"Always with the legal, Michael. Last night, I did an illegal magic show that made the people go wild," said G.O.B who's suit suddenly changed to something a little more regal. In fact, it was against the Magician Alliance, a group founded by G.O.B., that said impromptu shows were against the groups' code. The fact that G.O.B openly laughed at the rules since a mistake a year ago was another reason that his appeals had fallen on hard ears.

It was at this point that Lucille slapped her head. Of course, it would be her least favorite who would be the magically one she was probably thinking. "Michael, you have no idea what you have done! You've just unleashed this family's dark secret."

"Dark secret! What you use dark chocolate instead of regular to make your fudge extra nice."

It was this point that something happened that made Michael notice something was amiss, a puppet walking around the penthouse. It was it this point that Buster woke up. Walking out of his room, he noticed that the puppet Franklin was walking on its own. "It's finally happened! YARRRRGH!" Buster hated that puppet since he had been silenced earlier that month when he had gone to sleep after G.O.B. had Franklin kiss Buster to put him to sleep.

The puppet then started to sing and dance with G.O.B's voice. Michael turned towards G.O.B. "You took apart a Tickle Me Elmo X to make Franklin scare Buster. What will your depravity do next?" G.O.B shrugged his shoulders, but he was as befuddled.

"Mikey, I have no idea why that is happening. Actually, I had to walk here this morning. My Segway is still in space for some odd reason."

Michael was about to ask if G.O.B had been smoking some "Afternoon Delight," a special blend of marijuana known for slowing aspects of the brain when his mother cut him off.

"Michael, George, stop it. This is more serious than you realize. You see I'm the daughter of a Witch."

"Now, you shouldn't call nana a b. . ." said Michael before being cut off by Lucille.

"Witch not the b word. My father was a Wizard, and my younger sister is a Witch too. However, I'm perfectly normal."

Lindsay scoffed at this one as did Michael and G.O.B. The truth was that Lucille was far from normal. She had been featured on Fox's Worst Drivers. All the best stars are on Fox, so watch today. However, the bigger problem was that she was being sincere for once. "I am a squib; a pureblood witch who has no magic power. However, G.O.B. apparently has magically abilities from the way that annoying puppet is now walking around."

"Has Uncle Oscar been giving you more 'Afternoon Delight'?"

Lucille was livid at this point. She made the point by throwing her glass to the ground. "My real name is Luca Parkinson. In fact, G.O.B probably now is the legal head of the Parkinson family due to that blasted will."

In fact in the Wizarding World, most documents automatically updated when a new heir was detected. It usually happened at birth, but since the Bluths had been paying Fudge off for a couple of years before G.O.B was born, it didn't detect G.O.B till yesterday. Even now it was causing problems it Hogwarts. In two different areas, the sudden Parkinson Scion caused distress in two quarters with the year not even beginning yet.

Lucille could care less. She just needed to make sure that she kept her inheritance coming. "G.O.B. you're coming with me."

Michael couldn't believe a word that he was hearing. Then he noticed that Franklin was drinking some of Lucille's cheaper adult beverages. "What's a brotha got to do to get some King Cobra?" It was at this point that he decided to go to the safety of work, and then he'd talk to his father about this all. Buster stayed in his room due to the talking puppet.

The next day, Lucille and G.O.B. arrived in the Leaky Cauldron. "Mom, why am I wearing this rag?" In fact, G.O.B was wearing a two thousand galleon robe that had been his grandfathers. Lucille had kept it after her mother had died that she failed to tell anyone about for several months. In fact, Lucille was wearing a witch outfit with a hat that she last wore to a holiday party in the mid eighties. Michael had made an interesting comment that day. "What you didn't have a nose to go with that?"

As Lucille took the second door, they walked onto the busiest wizarding area in all of Great Britain next to Little America owned by the Leeds family that had no idea why it was so popular. It was a little known fact that British Wizards liked to spend their weekends thinking that they were Americans.

However, G.O.B. was angrier over the fact that he recognized someone there. "Tony Wonder! You cheat!" The two ran by Ollivander where Mr. Ollivander was helping first years with their wands when he saw a wizard without a wand. "He's probably a 10' with a combination of dragon and kappa scales. Not that bright is he, but you require a special wand," said Ollivander as he looked at the child. "Ah, a 15' with chimera fur. Yes, I'm right. Just right!" Tony Wonder disappeared down an alley as the wandsmith handed the child its wand from inventory.

G.O.B chased Tony Wonder threw the streets until he lost him near a dumbwaiter. Lucille followed but was a bit angry. "I don't care if it was Patty O'Daniel, your third cousin sixteen times removed. We need to go see a Goblin about some galleons," ordered Lucille. She wished it was anybody but G.O.B. who was the magical one in the family. However, there was another in the family with a magical background. And currently, he suddenly noticed that a snake was talking to him in biology.

"You know you can let me go," said the serpent to George Micahel. He fainted. "Wow, I had no idea that he was so afraid of snakes," said Maeby as she was getting a veteran of the experiment to proceed with her experiment. The teacher was currently counting some money as George Michael fell over. Steve Holt turned his head. "Shouldn't somebody do something for him?"

Maeby sat back and enjoyed the situation. However, lately there was a strange owl looking at someone in the room. That when it dawned on Maeby. "Strange eyes. It's perfect for a new teen slasher flick. Owlman, he cues in the night for blood. I'm sure that it's perfect for the Christmas season."

It was at that point that Maeby dialed the studio on her cellphone. Ann Veal walked in at that moment to see her boyfriend on the floor. "George Michael, you can't make me a pre-engaged widow! Wake up!" Ann was trying to revive her boyfriend with a prayer, but she ignored Steve Holt finishing Maeby's experiment. However, the held back senior noticed he kept hearing voices that were a little unhuman as well.

The teacher continued to count the money that Maeby had given him. If that isn't a statement on the state of the educational system, I have no idea what is.

It was at that point that Michael had gone up to visit his father in the attic. "Dad, Mom took G.O.B to England. Can you tell me what is going on?"

George Sr. was angry. "Michael, you have no idea what've done. By canceling the Fudge fund, you unleashed the fact that you mother has magical genes. I've been paying off Fudge for years."

It was at that point that Michael remembered other events that had occurred over the years. He had heard about his parents talking about Fudge when he was five. Then he never saw his parents eat any fudge which left Michael a little perplexed especially when his "twin sister" Lindsay punched him for not getting any fudge. Then there was the time that he was just entering the company and somebody said something about fudge on Friday. He brought his son thinking it was a family event to discover that his father didn't come in that day and there was no fudge. It was a sour event for Michael.

However, it all started to make sense. "You mean Fudge is a man."

"Yes, what did you think it was some slimly chocolate treat that I loath? No, he is the idiot who got me to build in Iraq. Damn him and GreyBob the Persian." It should be noted that George Sr. never met Greywolf of Tigress. In fact, he looked kinda of like Sasha Cohen. Note if you see Sasha Cohen, shoot him on sight with a silver bullet. Though he may offer you gold, he is in fact a wizard and werewolf. Plus, he is from the Magical state of Persiaiana. Never trust a Persianianan.

Regardless, Michael finally discovered that his mother was something other than a b-word. "You mean Mom is a real Witch! What's next, your going to tell me that Lindsay was actually the daughter of gypsies."

George laughed a bit. "Good one, Mickey. However, this is no laughing matter." In fact, Lindsay was the daughter of gypsies. However that was another story.

Back on Diagon Alley, G.O.B. was bored as he could be with the short ugly fellow who kept on talking in some gibberish. "I don't care what Pedro is saying except that I need to go find a bathroom," said G.O.B. who was held down by Lucille who speaking in the same unusual language. Then she went into shock. "No, you did it again G.O.B. You've taken my hope and dreams and flushed them down the preverbal toilet. Now, I can only live on the millions that I already have and the small inheritance allowance that I get."

"What are you talking about?" said Gob trying to talk to a Goblin.

"It's quite simple," said an usually man with a long beard and a withered hand. "The will of your grandfather Lister Parkinson stated that any male heir of Parkinson's blood would receive the full inheritance save for monthly allowance to his female heir. His female descendants still receive a nice allowance per month. That means Luca still gets enough to live on."

Lucille nearly scratched the man's eyes out. "Aldous Dumbledore. Why are you snaking about? Hasn't your phoenix been satisfying you, lately?" Years ago, Lucille had a crush on Dumbledore, but due to the fact that she was a squib she never got to go to Hogwarts. Instead, she ended up at Harvard where she met George Bluth who was a janitor who was working his way through school.

"Little Luca, I'm amazed that no one ever detected George Oscar till now," remarked Dumbledore. "That's for me to know, and you to discover, Old Goat," replied Lucille as a goblin brought Lucille a half shaken pumpkin juice with a bit of alcohol. Actually, it had a lot of alcohol.

"Actually, I wanted to offer Mr. Bluth a position at Hogwarts. I've been going over his work, and it seems to indicate that he had a great affinity for magic." In fact, Dumbledore just got back from vomiting in the bathroom after watching some of G.O.B.'s 'Illusions.' Plus, he read G.O.B.'s autobiography which lead to the reason why he was currently trying to recruit the Illusionist. Buy the DVD! However, this is a plot point.

"So, what is this position?" asked G.O.B. wondering what he would have to do. A smile formed on Doubledore. "Well, I need a new Professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts, and I'm sure that the Regents of Hogwarts would approve of Lister's grandson taking over the position," said the Headminister of Hogwarts. Before Lucille could stop G.O.B., he agreed with a handshake.

-Next Time on Magical Development

- After another bout of magic, George Michael gets a fully paid scholarship to Durmstrang Magical Institute. Michael thinking it was a military institute sends him immediately after Ann dumps him. "This doesn't look like a military school."

- Pansy Parkinson discovers that she has cousins, and that her inheritance has been cut to shreds. Draco dumps her for her lack of money. Plus, Snape discovers that he has been promoted or demoted from a certain point of view.

-And Tabas ends up with a new set of hair and a new house on Maeby's cabinet. A mouse holds up a sign saying, "Help, my acting got carried away!"


	2. Chapter 2: Plans in Motion

Magical Development

A Harry Potter/Arrested Development Crossover

2 of 7

Plans in Motion

It was a typical day at Hogwarts. The birds were chirping. The trees were devouring first years who had no idea what they were doing. Actually Harry Potter and friends were some of the luckier students in their first year. The dangers of the grounds of Hogwarts had on occasion caused the insurers at Bling, Speedy, and Greywolf to literally cry, but nothing had prepared the grounds for what happened when George Oscar Bluth entered the grounds.

"Oh dammit!" It filled the halls around the area to the Defense Against the Dark Arts room for several minutes. In fact, the exactly words that were said in this combination cannot be reprinted due to their sheer horrible nature. In fact, they will be featured next week at your local theater in several movies. Have you been to your local theater lately?

It was at that point that a man in dark robes and a dour demeanor ran through the corridors from his own quarters to his new master which was one of many. As the pale hands ripped the door from its keyhole, George Oscar Bluth in some of the finest robes possible sat there trying to put a flaming pile of plastic and metal out. "Ah, Snappy! Just the sourpuss, I was looking for. I needed to check my e-mail because I have a hot date with a lady." Well talking about the date, GOB began to generate up and down. Snape rolled his eyes wishing for the strength to go on. As for the date, there really wasn't one. By now, you should realize that GOB only gets dates with cheap prostitutes and 3rd place Beauty Contestants.

"For the love of Merlin, didn't you watch the informational magic ball?" Snape was quite rightfully pissed. He had been promised the position now occupied by the foolish American who couldn't rub two wands together to make fire. Actually, GOB had tried that on three separate occasions earlier that day with different results each time. Before the boorish American had appeared, Snape had noticed that Dumbledore had been reading a rather horridly looking book while looking at a list of wizard family lines. The man's eyes lit up like a roman candle, and that's how Snape lost his position as Professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts.

The book in question was written by a ghost writer who had in fact been a 3rd place contestant in a beauty contest. She only lost the title of Miss Brainy because she in fact only had a Bachelor of Arts in Sociology. And I guess you can figure out the rest?

However, the situation at hand presented itself again to Snape. "Well, I kind of fast forwarded towards the end."

The answer echoed throughout the hall. "You fastforwarded! That's not even possible with a magic ball." In fact, GOB had fastforwarded the whole way through. Due to the fact that GOB never actually trained his powers, well they kind of have unexpected results as any untrained wizard was known to cause. Thus Snape was not really the assistant, but the babysitter for some sort of intricate plan that ballfield him.

Holding his hand against face, Snape slowly counted and after five he finally told his "superior" why his electronic device had turned into a crisp little box. "Well if you had watched it fully, you would have learned that all outside electronic devices are magically disabled at Hogwarts!"

Snape ran out at that moment. A shocked and confused GOB began to wonder how to get to his various internet sites like Women of the Night and Little Christian School Girl when he decided to look at the events for the year at Hogwarts to see if there was a particular event. Snape slammed the door shut.

Back in the model home, Michael was still trying to come to grips with the idea that his mother was a witch. Though as he sat at the computer, he noticed suddenly that it was working faster. This was due to the fact that it hadn't been visited by GOB for several days. However, Michael had yet to find a private school to send his son George Michael to help him escape from the sudden news that had been kept quiet by most of the family. Ironically, it was at this point that George Michael ran through the door.

"Dad, I need some help. I hear snakes talking!" It was it this point that Michael had images of his son taking drugs. "Son, have you been taking drug?," he suddenly asked his son who was so afraid of drugs that he once reported that his father had been on dupe after accidently taking Tylenol with a glass of wine. It wasn't pretty. There was also the time that George Michael was asked by his uncle to get him weed. Well that wasn't pretty either except for the constant throwing of arms.

"No, Dad. I'm serious here. Why won't you listen to me?" It was at this point that George Michael ran off leaving behind a befuddled Michael who suddenly and mysteriously had what appeared to be a ornate envelope with gold trimming in his hand. He started to read the strange and quite weird message. However, he liked the words exclusive and private. "Who gave George Michael a free ride at Durmstrang Institute?"

In his anger, George Micahel ran into his room that he shared with his cousin Maeby. The problem was that instead of finding Maeby: he discovered his uncle Tobias rummaging through his clothes. Apparently Tobias had gotten a part on the newest Teen movie as Nerdy Teen 3 which ironically was being produced by his daughter. "Ah the hip George Michael. Don't mind me, I just need some hip young threads for my acting career!" Being upset and unable to concentrate, George Micahel did the only thing that ever really relaxed him: he did his math homework.

"Ah retreating into the box, I see. Come George Michael, you have to let you feelings out or else you will just be as balled up as your father." It was at that point that George Michael had enough. The pencil was thrown down. Getting to his full height, George Michael looked directly at his uncle Tobias which meant that he had to lean down a bit. "You know you are annoying with your constant babbling! Did you even graduate from medical school?"

Tobias walked back to avoid his nephew's rage which he concluded was due to his default answer that was actually ninety-nine point nine percent wrong. "Now, George Michael. We all have problems keeping up the appearance in this patristical society. Just admit that you like Steve Holt as I assumed last year, and all the rage shall wash away like river washing away silt."

It this point any self respecting man would have punched Tobias. However, George Michael had been discovering things about himself. Things that could grant world domination or a lucrative career in goblin toasting, the second most popular sport in the wizarding world. No, his anger wasn't going down it had increased. "How did you ever stay in psychologist position? You couldn't even figure out why I wanted to be in that damn play!"

Tobias holding himself against the lower bunk shook in his cutoffs. "Wasn't it Steve Holt?"Clouds and thunder like out of some cartoon appeared around George Michael. "No, you hamster like man. I love Maeby!" Tobias seized up and then went back to psychoanalyzing. "That's just sick!" Note, Steve Holt is the son of George Oscar Bluth, so well it still pretty weird that Tobias would say this certain statement with the added weirdness of well you know. But what can this poor narrator do? It's not like Tobias knew this yet. Suddenly lightning struck Tobias from one of the clouds. Smoke and other interesting effects appeared and just for humor sake "Hurricane" started to play.

George Michael coughing in the smoke that had appeared peered through to see that his uncle Tobias no longer was on the lower bunk. Clothing was all around the room as the magical aftermath disappeared leaving behind a sulfur taste and a smell not unlike chocolate. "Uncle Tobias?" George Micahel looked around for awhile, but he didn't discover his uncle. All that remained of his uncle was his well worn cutoffs.

Getting scared, George Micahel fled his room. Out from under the sheet emerged a small rodent like figure. In fact, it was quite hairy well except for its head. The small creature realized that it wasn't wearing any clothes, so it held its privates that can't even be seen in its current form. That was when Maeby entered the room. "Oh My God, finally after all these years! I have a hamster."

Back at Hogwarts, the trio from Gryffindor walked into Defense Against the Dark Arts room. It was typical for Harry to be excited, but for the life of him, he couldn't figure out who the new Professor was. It wasn't Slugworth, and apparently Snape wasn't teaching Potions which helped him out. However, Harry's hopes that Snape had been picked up as a Death Eater and sent to a nasty place.

"Harry, are you going to continue the D.A.?" asked Hermione. Harry sat down with her and Ron as he noticed that there seemed to be voices that were not students. Like there were twenty separate voices are setting something up. He was about to react like a mongoose. When suddenly he was held down in place by a slimy hand. "Sit down, Mr. Potter."

As Harry realized that Snape was there. Suddenly his heart raced, and he realized that he was doomed. Not as doomed at Roger B. Milton of the class of '53, he lost his parchment somewhere in London that contained an ancient spell that caused hair to fall out. It was not pretty what happened to a tourist named Stan Sitwell who now is ever bald as he was after he read the spell. He never did get to sue Mr. Milton, but Milton ended up due to unauthorized magic sent to Azkaban. He was never really liked by the other prisoners especially the former Death Eaters. Though some of the Death Eaters did end up kind of hairless if they tried to mess with that Hufflepuff.

Regardless of fear, Harry suddenly noticed that Snape was just standing at the back of the room and waiting for some odd reason to start class. It was at this point that Ron started a bit of a discussion. "Harry if Snape is the Professor, why hasn't he started class?"

This was a question that raced through Harry's mind as well. "I have no clue what is going on, Ron."

Then suddenly a voice seemed to emanate from all corners of the room. "Behold, I am here to give you warning of the darkness against the light." Then there was an explosion of light. The voice returned. "Against the darkness there stands a . . . dam like beavers have." Followed by flying books and a beaver. Snape was holding his face in his hand swearing to some higher power. Ok, he was praying to God!

Then out of nowhere music on violins started to play: it was annoying. Then the shrill voices started to speak. Draco Malfoy held his hands on his head and he started to bang it. Then the voice after humming began to speak. "The Final Countdown!"

Finally an explosion and a man popped up out of it. He stood about six feet, and he was wearing a fine robe that looked it was brand new. It was embalmed with the gold thread all about it. Overall, it was pretty grey. Then the figure spoke. "I am a simple magician named GOB! Why is there a floating beaver?"

Snape answered back. "Because you apparently didn't tell the damn house elves not to have a floating beaver suddenly appear, oh great and powerful GOB."

"Why yes, I'm the great and powerful GOB!" He stood dramatically as he flicked his wrist with his brand new wand. Also quite expensive. Suddenly the beaver disappeared, but it was replaced by some guy in a strange hat who looked slightly like a beaver. "Finally, I can get a job in real dam construction."

The most disturbing aspect was that the man was completely naked and non magically. Screams were heard from the halls as the beaver man walked through trying to get to London to apply for a job building dams. He was a great sooin with the government. However that left GOB just standing there with students looking at him like he was a complete and utter git.

That was when Snape butted in. "This first lesson in the defense against the dark arts is to never mix two completely different spells as demonstrated by the Magnificent George Oscar Bluth. Remember, you have to use an equal spell to counteract the spell of a dark wizard."

It was it that point that Snape pulled out his wand and ran down the hall trying to get rid of the magically beaverman who was also still quite naked. The students continued to hear meowing and other strange and wonderful sounds coming from the halls. It was then that GOB continued to speak. "Yes when battling the Dark Arts, it is always important to make sure that you don't make the spell worse." GOB fumbled and he lost his place in the cards that he kept in his robe.

It was at this point due to his frustration that he threw up his arms, and said a magically phrase. "Free Money!" Suddenly it was raining silvery coins. "Remember a distraction works too. Now remember to read in you text chapters 4-6 for next class!" As suddenly as he appeared another fireworks display occurred. It was quite spectacular, but GOB ended up setting himself on fire that had occurred once a year since he was seven.

As GOB ran out the door, Draco looked at the coin, and he suddenly realized something profound. "Wait a second, this is American money. It's practically worthless in this country."

Harry also made up his mind. "To your question earlier Hermione, I believe that it would be best if I continue the DA."

Noone noticed Pansy Parkinson with clothing that looked less than her usually standard. She seemed angry to a degree that well was even unusual for Slytherin. "That's my cousin!"

Back in Orange County, George Michael arrived at Ann's house to discover that she was trying to catalogue some sort of new television show. "George Michael, I need some help making sure that I catch all the wickedness in this show about a Hindu god trying to kill Satan worshipers parading around as a kid's show." George Michael didn't really care, but he was caught into the show's thrilling story about a world out of balance with four basic elements.

"So, did you catch the fifteen blasphemes in that one scene?" Ann asked. The fact that George Michael started to see the female who sounded a bit like Ann in place of Ann started to cause problems when suddenly Ann's heavier framed started to melt away. The white skin changed to a darker tone and her hair suddenly had hair loops. Though her attire did not change, but it was a little bit bagger. "George Michael, are you listening to me?"

The shock of seeing the change in Ann Veal into the character on the screen caused George Michael to panic. "Ann, you look like the screen. Oh my God, I made a horrible mistake." He ran out the door. As he ran George Michael suddenly realized that he was a monster. "I am a Monster." Ironically walking by looking for "Army" recruits was Uncle Buster who himself thought that he was a monster. All Buster heard was monster from the passing shape that he did not recognize because he didn't have his glasses on straight. "Monster. . .," he repeated. Then looking at his right hand, he realized that he was the monster. "I am a Monster!" He said then he started running around in circles screaming the same thing.

George Michael finally returned to the Mini-Mansion expecting to be thrown in jail. When he entered the house, he noticed Aunt Lindsay didn't look upset. Actually, Lindsay was excited. "Finally, Tobias left me. Now, I can get a divorce." Suddenly her eyes watered over. "He thinks I'm fat!" This would probably be a good point for Lucille to walk in, but she was currently still in the United Kingdom trying to get more money out of GOB.

Michael sat there trying to comfort her, but failing miserable. "Don't worry. I'm sure that Tobias will turn up soon." In fact, Tobias was currently in a hamster wheel being watched by his daughter as she finally had the childhood that she always wanted.

Michael finally noticed that George Michael had walked in. "Wait champ, there something that you should know." Suddenly the boy seized up, and he felt sweat pour off his face. "I didn't mean to do it. I just not in control anymore, and noone will listen to me."

"Don't worry. You apparently are in great control. A DE Enterprises noticed all your good work, and has paid for something better than the Milford Institute. I've already signed you up! Apparently there will be a man by tomorrow to pick you up."

George Michael fainted at that point.

Next Time on Magically Development

- GOB starts a new tradition at Hogwarts.

- Snape learns the real reason behind GOB's appointment.

- And George Michael decides that his free ride came with more strings than he realized. "If you do not learn quickly, there will be more pain!"

Author Notes: Ok, the originally plan was for thirteen parts, but because I only planned out enough material for seven parts. There will be only seven parts, so it will be a little more limited. Also, Mae Whitmore(Ann Veal) plays a couple of cartoon voices which left me with a great opportunity to make a joke. Hopefully, it wasn't too obvious who I altered her into.


	3. Chapter 3: Storm Before the Pagent

Magical Development

Part 3 of 7

"Storm Before the Pageant"

It all started simple enough. Sure Snape had been for weeks teaching his new "boss" how to actually control his powers instead of creating horrible magical creatures that scare the living tar out of the female population of the institution of higher magical learning.

Actually the Beaverman got a job as a foreman at the Blouth Company after no wizard could get rid of him. Actually after the magic, he looked like a construction worker from Texas who claimed to be a Millionaire on a certain network that has the same name as an animal. He gets punched out a lot in Anaheim now. However that was the least of Snape's worries as he escorted Professor Bluth to the weekly staff meeting in Dumbledore's office.

Snape sighed as GOB walked in. "Hey McGornicle, how's those lions?" McGonagall hated her named being mispronounced, but she held her angry by looking indifferent as she always did. Ice water for blood there folks. Ok, she does have emotions, it just that she is a school spinster. What do you expect? "Professor Bluth, my name is McGonagall." George Oscar Bluth laughed at off, and he said her name exactly the same. "Yeah, it's McGornicle. I know. I know." It this point the transfiguration teacher just shied away and muttered to herself.

Due to the fact that Snape had been "demoted," he was no longer the head of Slytherin. Professor Slughorn was now once again the head of the house after Dumbledore explained the situation. In fact, the old round fellow enjoyed it, and he had fostered a sort of strange relationship with GOB due to the resemblance between him and his grandfather. They used to go drinking together during their days at Hogwarts.

"Ah George my boy, I'm glad to see you. Here sit down. Sit down, boy!" offered Slughorn to GOB who took it without even looking at a dejected Snape. Snape sneered, but in his lifetime, this had only gotten him nowhere. Though once and only once, it got him a date with a woman who later went on to marry and have a daughter and promptly died with her husband due to a strange mixture that appeared to be ordinary water. The investigations into the death during the former days of Voldermort last attempt at world domination have not concluded anything conclusively. However, it is known that there was a note from some fellow named Prince claiming that he did the crime. Nothing has ever been concluded on the issue.

Snape as it turned out had to sit on a stool at the faculty table. "I wonder if I still can get fresh mermaid scales this time of year," he pondered. It was at this point that Aldous Doubledore arose like a mighty titan, and promptly introduced this week's issues. "Now, I would ask that we all conserve our supply of pumpkin juice since the pumpkin crop this year has been horrible. I'm currently of the opinion that this is do to Voldermort."

GOB had heard the name only from the old man who his mother Lucille Bluth once had a crush on. This was before she became bitter from the knowledge that she was a squib. GOB continued to listen or pretended to listen to Doubledore. It was at this point that Horace Slughorn asked a pretty important question. "So my boy, I know that you are American, but I checked and you didn't graduate from Salem Academy? So where did you attend school?"

In fact, GOB had gone to a magic school of sorts. "Well, I attended Orange County Wizard Academy." In this case, it was not a lie. He had attended that school after high school and a rather interesting affair with a young Miss Holt. The school was in fact a wizarding school run by a real wizard who couldn't make it in the magical world of America.

Due to many issues, wizards and witches in America never really found much of a use for their powers due to Thomas Jefferson who made sure that they would not be able to influences election by creating a massive magical barrier across the then country and new Louisiana Purchase as well. Doing so lead to Wizards in America unable to use their powers except for in Massachusetts and later in California. Ironically, John Adams was a wizard, and people wonder how John Quincy was able to win the election in 1824. It wasn't his catchy tune!

Regardless, it was ironic that GOB's reteaching by Snape was going so smoothly. It also explains why he was the worst "Illusionists" ever. He was just better at magic. Then suddenly, Doubledore needed a suggestion on what to do to keep Pumpkin Juice shortage unknown.

That's when GOB suggested his favorite pastime. "Why not have a beauty contest?"

Flitch had an odd question. "Can I enter my cat?"

Slughorn smiled at GOB's suggestion. "Splendid suggestion, lad. You do old Parkey proud." Snape really wanted some mermaid scales. Doubledore just smiled as everything went according to plan thanks to his handy-dandy book on the issue.

Back in Anaheim, Michael was noticing that his new Dam houses were doing great. Thanks to the new foreman who suggested them, the Bluth company was making money again. Though his foreman seemed to attract undue agression. "Louise, can I get the quarterlies?" he asked. That's when someone else answered the intercom. "Michael have you seen Tobias," asked his sister Lindsey.

Walking out of his recently rebuilt office, Michael noticed that his sister was going through one of her withdraws that she seemed to get if she didn't get shop or have Tobias. "So not that he is gone, you can't live without him?"

Her mascara was running, and she looked absolutely terrible just like wearing a slut shirt to her father's own fake wake. "I haven't seen him in two weeks, and he hasn't shown up as Mrs. Featherbottom either," Lindsey complaining about the housework awaiting her. That and that new hamster that Maeby had collected. It apparently left a lot of housework to clean it up, and it never seem to accomplish anything. You have to wonder if she realizes that hamster shares a lot of traits like husband?

Michael being the caring brother took that moment to remind Lindsey that Tobias disappeared a lot. "Remember the time that Tobias went missing for two weeks, and it turned out that he locked himself in your closet."

"Wait, I never checked the closet. I haven't been there in three weeks." It was at this point that Michael discovered that Lindsey had gotten some money from the Bluth Company through you guessed it, Lucille.

So Michael was off to confront his mother at her apartment where she was looking over some letter with dark lining and a skull. No, it was not a recruiting letter from the Hell's Angels either.

"Ah Michael, I just been informed that you accepted a scholarship on behalf of George Michael to Durmstrang Academy," she said as she put down the letter. Michael sat down, and he noticed that neither his uncle or brother were around. "Yeah, I figure that it was a good opportunity to get George Michael away from this environment of hate, backstabbing, and lies. Like the one that you told me that you wouldn't raid the company's assets, any more."

"Michael, though I have a reasonable explanation of the money that I received from the company, I am more worried about the fact that you sent George Michael to a Magical Academy off the coast of Denmark!"

"You mean this is all part of your side of the family. I was trying to get him away from that. Do you think it's possible to get George Michael back?"

"Not in this life time especially since you also signed him for two years to be trained to use his powers."

"Like Army!"

"Not now Buster, but I had noticed that George Michael had started to develop powers. You know this is all you fault Michael. Everything would have been fine as long as you had just kept paying Fudge."

Michael rolled his eyes for five weeks he had heard it at least twice a day how he had doomed them all from his mother. His father on the other hand had just retreated into a constant tea party. And for some unknown reason his biggest problem the ongoing investigation of the Bluth Company had suddenly and without warning just ended. Apparently CIA West had bigger issues to worry about.

Thus Michael wanted what was best for his son, so without thinking he let his son go with the mysterious floating gentlemen who just screeched.

"Well, you better be happy when your son gets back that he doesn't turn you into a toad."

After his blowout with his mother, Michael went to the model home to read the document that he had received from out of nowhere. That's when he noticed his niece on the coach with her new pet that seemed to shed everywhere. "Maeby, have you seen the scholarship letter for George Michael?"

It was at that point that as Maeby looked up at her uncle Michael. "Nope, I just been shredding paper for my little hamster, Baldy." It was at this point that the hamster began to be indigent being called by that named that Maeby had given it after noticing that it was bald at the top.

It this point there was a knock at the door. Michael walked over and noticed that there was an unusually girl at the door. "Maeby were you expecting anybody?"

"Mr. Bluth, it's me Ann Veal," said the girl from the other side. At this point even Maeby looked up.

As Michael opened the door and was shocked by what he saw. "Ann, what happened?"

Instead of a pale chubby girl, there was a tanned and slender girl looking at him. "Oh, I'm looking for George Micahel since he hasn't been at school for two weeks," she said as she slid her head around looking for him. "Unfortunately, he went to a new school off the coast of Denmark."

Ann looked dejected, but there was something about her much larger blue eyes that endured her. "Oh well, I guess I'll have to thank him for his secular love later," she said as she went back out the door in her new blue form fitting dress.

It was at that point that Michael suddenly figured that his son might have been behind the change in Ann. Looking at a shocked Maeby who couldn't figure out what was going on. "What happened to Bland. Maybe I should show up to school more than I go to work, Baldy." Maeby continued to play with the hamster as Michael continued to look for the document since all he heard was Bland and Baldy.

As for George Michael, he was been trained in his magical abilities by being taught in an accelerated manner. "Duck or you will be hurt," screamed his instructor in the red and black uniform. "Geez! When they said private school was different, they weren't kidding."

George Michael barely escaped the assault from magical energy when from a distance he thought that he saw a reptilian like man watching his performance. No, it was not a Hollywood producer or a lobbyists. No, he will have more of a place in this strange story later.

For now, we go back to Hogwarts where it was announced that Pumpkin Juice would no longer be served due to some reason other than bad pumpkin crops. No, it was then announced that there would be a fall festival that year to remind the students to be ever vigilant against encroaching evil.

However what had excited the girls of Hogwart was the announcement of a beauty pageant to be hosted by the most exciting man in Wizarding World that's right, Harry Potter. Recently due to the popular media stating that he was insane, his popularity had gone down hill, but due to equivalent of alternative media, the boy who lived had bounced back in popularity.

Though the person most upset about the issue was Hermione. "I hate beauty pageants," she said as looked at the poster announcing the event. It was at this point that Pansy Parkinson walked up to her.

"Always running the other direction when it comes to being a women, Granger," she laughed as she left with other Slytherians. As Pansy left she strut her stuff like she had seen one day when her guardian had left on the television while watching "Girls with Low Esteem." It was at this point that the gaggle of Slytherian women ran into Professor Sprout who deduct points for while being well sluts. Then again, Pansy had just signed up for the pageant before the incident, but she wasn't doing it for beauty. No, it was for something that most writers call revenge, but that will come later.

Hermione afraid of what might happen ran off down the halls holding back the tears. She ran into the first dungeon that she could fine. Her mousy appearance was more due to hiding her beauty behind a facade of security. In fact, Hermione had often wished to more of one of the girls, but it was a fact that as a Prefect, she was even more outside the girl circles.

"Well well. What's a pretty young thing like you doing crying?"

The voice seemed well mannered if a bit wolfish. "Professor Bluth, I didn't expect you to be here." It was a known fact that the new Professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts liked to go to Hogsmeade this time of day. "Well, I was preparing my lessons for tomorrow." In fact, GOB was about to smoke a bit of "Afternoon Delight" which was the only type of marijuana that he could get there.

Not wanting to let anyone known that he smoked it in the school, he decided to hide it by throwing it through a cubbyhole. Ironically an annoying House Elf picked it up, and it was now being put into the cake for tonight for taste. Regardless, the effects of this will be felt later.

"That's good, but why not in your office." It was at this point that GOB got a bit of a strange look on his face. "What I have an office! Snape told me that the desk was my office. Oh well, you look upset. Why don't you tell GOB what's bothering you, little lady."

For whatever reason, Hermione instantly told GOB of her problems. GOB nodded as he usually did with women. This was a talent that he learned from years with his mother. "Well the worst part is that Pansy Parkinson has to act all smug because she comes from a pure blood family that she is the only known descendent of."

It was at that point that something from clicked in GOB's mind. "Parkinson. . . Wait, Pansy is a Parkinson. No wonder, I've been getting weird vibes from her," he said as he considered the situation. "Well to answer you're insecurities, I believe that the best remedy is be in a beauty pageant. It sure did help my niece Maeby."

In fact, it had help her become a bitter individual due to the hypocrisy of calling such things an inner beauty pageant. Just call it what it is, people! Regardless, Hermione had been swallowed by the strange and swell voice of GOB, and she decided to take him up on his offer.

In the grand hall, it was a zoo as Doubledore couldn't figure why Professor Sprout suddenly felt complied to lay on the ground and claim she was a beautiful flower waiting to be deflowered. Snape was in a corner crying about not having mermaid scales and the unjustice of the world.

As much as the students were a bit insane, the Hufflepuffs were all singing a song about an angry little Goblin named Merlin. The Ravenclaws were pretending to being birds. The worst was that the Slytherians had taken their cloths off save their underwear and were all on the floor just looking at the lights. Gryffindor had yet to arrive due to a discussion that Ron Weasely was having with the whole house on how to control one's urges. Doubledore was grateful for one silver lining, but he wished that he had the other Prefects do the same talk right now.

He wondered why everyone was acting crazy when Pansy Parkinson ran up. "Head Master, you have to destroy the cake. I didn't eat and I perfectly sane. There is something untimely about all this," she said.

Then Doubledore realized that the child was correct. "Abba Cake," he said as the cake disappeared across the hall. Somehow, he knew that he accidently caused this all. Turning back to Pansy, he made a decision. "Pansy, I want you to find a Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw who aren't affected then I will have you each take your houses back to their rooms. Flitch will assit along with myself and Professor Bluth who is not affected."

It was lucky for GOB that no one knew that he was responsible yet.

GOB escorted Hermione to the sign up just as students seemed to be staggering around from the Great Hall. "Anybody got a banana?" asked one student who kept on mentioning a song about a "big yellow joint."

"Well, I guess that's why they are called hufflerpuffs," laughed GOB as he recognized the aftereffects of "Afternoon Delight." Then he suddenly realized something was up, so GOB ran for it.

It was around this time that he ran into Dumbledore who was leading the affected Slytherians with Pansy back to their dungeon. "Ah George, I need you to help Ms. Parkinson to the Slytherian Dungeon. There has been a terrible accident. I need to help Luna Lovegood with the Ravenclaws. Then we shall both get to the bottom of this."

Helping a Slutherian first year to stand, GOB called out to Pansy. "Ms. Parkinson, could you please take the head. I have no idea where your dungeon is."

Pansy went from the back where she was making sure that Draco hadn't started to sing another song about how his father hates potatoes.

"Just as long as you agree to make sure this moron doesn't start singing againg," she nearly bit her tongue in angry. She went to the front of the line, and barked out orders.

"It must run in the family," he mumbled. Draco heard this, and he nearly started to sing another one of his tunes. GOB put his hand around his mouth. "Trust me, it's better to keep silent when no one understands your art."

"You're a nice Bird," was all that GOB got as he dragged the older Slytherians back to their dungeon.

Next Time on Magically Development

- Hermione faces Pansy and other girls of Hogwarts for the title of Miss Hogwarts. Luna Lovegood gets an interesting proposition.

- George Michael meets the snaky man.

- And Lindsey finds someone to fill the void in her heart. "You know I like making Dams!"


	4. Chapter 4: It's Time for Magic

Magical Development

Part 4 of 7

It's Time for Magic . . .

"I can't believe that I'm doing this. It's so bloody stupid!" pouted the boy who lived. It was something that he had gotten quite accustomed to doing since the untimely death of Cedric Diggory. However, there was a new force that had entered the wizarding world. It was a force of known stupidity. "Oh, trust me, kiddo. This is not stupid. Especially if you know the proper way to pull this all together. Go for the third runner up if she isn't older enough for me."

And on that note, Gob after handing down the extent to his grand knowledge which consisted of how to play Super Mario Bros 2 in under two minutes and beauty pageants. As the Defense Against the Dark Arts sat down at the judge table with Professor McGonagall and Hagrid. Potter sighed as he went on stage to announce the event beginning.

He didn't realize that behind him one of the contestants was plotting against someone. "Soon, cousin George. I will have my revenge. It will be all mine again!" That was when she got tapped on the shoulder. "Pansy, do you want my nergal defense bracelet. It sounds like you need it more than me."

Pansy Parkinson hated Luna Lovegood. She constantly annoyed the girl. Last week when Pansy had lost a hat, Luna found it, and had cleaned it. This upset Pansy to no end because Pansy had the Parkinson Pride. This meant that even though it would be wise to accept help. While they shot themselves in the foot most of the time by instead competing against their helpers. The Bluth Brothers were notorious for this to happen. What you thought that George Senior just was able to provoke the boys for Boy Fights?

"Go away! I don't need your odd ball behavior getting on me!"

Luna just shrugged her shoulders that showed off her elegant purple and black dress with raven's beaks on either side. No one really could tell that she designed the outfit herself. Well other than the beaks on either of her shoulders starting to sing when she skipped. How Luna had discovered that particular song was truly amazing as well. Who knew that a young witch would watch well Muggle Television especially from the U.S. of A. and import from Japan no doubt.

It really was quite sad that Pansy had no idea who was responsible for that annoying song, but she really wished that whoever it was that they would have a nasty back ache at the least. She probably shouldn't have been mouthing "Bachis Achis" while holding the wound.

Then the event began, so she got back and line and hoped that Luna wouldn't skip.

Michael was watching the news. Every since seeing the new Ann Veal, he had been trying to figure out what had been bothering him. Then out of nowhere, there was blast of smoke from the fireplace and out of it emerged a man in a strange Russian outfit. "Am I addressing Mr. Michael. . ." coughing from the amount of smoke coming out of the chimney the man didn't finish the rest.

Michael sprung up and he helped the man. "I'm Michael, and are you from that Durmstrang Academy?"

In fact, Michael had been trying to contact the place for two weeks to no success. During the last attempt when he contacted the Danish consulate, he was quickly called insane and told that all he saw was swamp gas. Quite strange indeed, they were having we are an Open to All Question Day. Michael was actually thrown out without getting a statue based on the Little Mermaid.

"Ah yes comrade, I here to inform you that your son George Michael . . .," the man coughed again. "Where was I. Ah yes, your son has passed with flying colors, and he is now in more advanced courses that shall test his wizarding skills. Have a nice day and oh yes," the man started to rub his forearm. "Your father sends his greatings."

The man darted back to the fireplace and disappeared into smoke.

Doing a double take, Michael ran up the stairs, and he opened the attic door to find his father George Senior cooking on a hot plate.

"Ah, I don't think that I have enough batter for both of us." Michael was shocked that his father wasn't in Denmark. However, there was something else going on that was out of the control of Michael.

In the frozen and large grounds of Durmstrang Academy, it seemed that it was eternally cold. George Michael hated the fact that it was freezing. "After having to watch that Truth movie, I thought that it impossible for Polar Bears to find ice," said the innocent and naive boy. After weeks of going through special classes to catch up, he was suddenly in regular classes.

However he had been summoned to the headmaster's office. As he entered Vlad Turgenev, he was greeted by a man that he had seen from a distance. His face was reptilian like, but at the same time, he seemed to be a snake. "Ah Mr. Bluth, I'm pleased to meet such a promising young student," said the mysterious man.

George Michael had no idea what to say except the usual. "I don't love my cousin." The odd slender man blinked for a moment, and then he began to laugh. "Ah such a card, I like this one Vlad." At that moment, the head of Durmstrang Academy was sitting in a chair with four slithering creatures about him. Barely moving, he nodded. "Good, I'll take a walk with young Master Bluth."

George Michael began to walk with the scaly man as he patted the young man on the

back.

As Harry Potter introduced the judges, he wondered where Snape was since he was suppose to be the fourth judge, but unfortunately, there had been a last minute change in plans. The fourth judge was Horace Slughorn. In fact, it was due to the man that Harry was on stage since the rather old gentlemen had it in his head that Harry wanted the spotlight.

The house elves were running the lights, and suddenly Potter was on. "This is the First Annual Miss Hoggy Contest. First off, I like to introduce the judges."

The lighting changed and it focused first on Hagrid. "Professor Hagrid who is hoping for girls with a little bit more on their bones," said awkwardly Harry as he read the card. "That's right Harry just like me mum." The half giant began to cry after that. Harry flipped to the next card. "Professor McGonagall who notes that all the young ladies are beautiful even those that have an extra couple of year?" again Harry was a bit confused. Getting up unlike Hagrid who continued to sit. "Yes, I'd like to think that even if you waited your whole life that special someone that eventually that you will be recognized."

Sighing, Harry really didn't want to figure out what this one meant. "Professor Bluth, the one and only master of illusion!" Suddenly, Harry heard that annoying music again, and he looked up to see singing House Elfes. He thought that he could even see Kreacher and Dobby. Winky on the other hand was nearly falling off the rallying because of drink. She had actually started that morning with the drinking.

Then the magically lights focused in on GOB. "Yes, I am merely GOB!" He took a bow. Harry didn't even need to introduce Horace Slughorn because well he was bravoing both Harry and GOB. "That's how Parky did it. I'm so proud! Now let us see these lovely ladies."

And with that Harry flipped a bit of his wand and suddenly there were girls from every house at Hogwarts walked down the aisles. Hermonie was wearing a red and gold dress that Harry had provided for her after she asked for some help in getting it. The green and white dress that Pansy Parkinson made her page boy cut seem right on spot since it seemed to say 1920's. As she made her intrest at the right moment, she would use the curse against the upstart that had stolen her place in society. Which is why she was wearing her great-grandmother's dress that she found after she begged and pleaded with her family's house elf. After convincing the vile creature to go retrieve a dress this was what she got.

"Now if I can only aim correctly without looking," she sneered. That was when Luna fell on her. And that annoying song squawked out of her shoulder again. There was jeering from Slytherians as they thought that one of their own had been attacked. However, Pansy knowing that she missed her only chance to safely get rid of GOB just went in about the show.

Luna smiled as she remember earlier that day.

"Now, I not much a fan of your nonesense Miss Lovegood, but just make sure that moron doesn't get killed."

And for the rest of evening, it went swimmingly through the multiply different events that are mandatary during events such as the wand cleaning, dance competition, and the totally off the wall cowgirl competition, it was finally down to four girls from the initial forty.

"So, here are the top four girls one last time. Hermonie Granger, Cho Chang, Pansy Parkinson, and Ginny Weasley . . ."

It was at that point that each of the judges started to talk to one another and make their decision. Hagrid was the one to speak. "On behalf of the judges, I like to say that there needs to be more giantesses at Hogwarts." It was at that point that the rest of the judges decided that Hagrid would use the opportunity to start talking about his pet peeves namely the lack of half wizard giant students at Hogwarts.

At that point Horace Slughorn began to speak. "After consulting between us, we would like to give to Miss Parkinson the title of Miss Congeniality for being such a good sport through the whole evening. I was shocked by the way that incorrigible girl lassoed you. No doubt you would have scored higher had that not occurred."

Professor Slughorn lost his train of thought, but then her recalled where he was going with his thoughts. "Ah yes, the first runner up is that adorable Weasley girl. I expect great things from her. Her potions have such a craftsmanship to them. And such a beautiful young frame . . ." It was that point that he poked by someone. I'm not laying any fingers, but she pretty much is a spinster.

As Harry gave Ginny a tiara, he gave her a peck on the check. "Good job, tonight. Ginny"

Horace began to announce the winner. "If Miss Hoggy doesn't not complete her grades this terms with the excellent performance that we have come to expect, we will have to give the crown to Miss Weasley, but I don't think that will be a problem." Cho straighten her back. That was when she suddenly realized that her name had not been announced.

"Hermonie Granger!"

Back at the Mini-Mansion, Michael was going over his son's report from the school when he suddenly realized that there was something unusual about the report.

It was excellent even if it was in courses that made no sense to him. Though he thought that Leadership was probably a management course. In fact, it taught how only pureblood families could rule the world.

That was when Lindsay walked down the stairs. "I hope that Donald gets here soon. I can't believe GOB finally found someone who isn't a totally flake."

Michael was more impressed that he wasn't some sort of drugged out ex-magician like the last fifteen had been. "Don't wear Beaver too badly. We need him for construction tomorrow." Lindsay was about to go meet her new buck-toothed boyfriend when she suddenly picked up another envelopment.

"Hey Mike, do you know Michael Riddle?" Michael turned around to look at an envelop that Lindsay had picked up from near the fireplace.

"No, but lately I've been finding them by the fireplace. Just throw it in the closet with the rest. Maybe you will find Tobias as well."

Michael still had no idea what was off about this report except that George Michael's surname wasn't Bluth on the report. Well, it started with a R and ended with an E. You know I'm betting that you are wondering where this story is going, but trust me, it will pay off once I get there.

Back at Hogwarts, Pansy was crying backstage. She had failed to complete her task. Now

she would as poor as that damn Weasley girl. No more new clothes. No more new shoes. No more new brooms. All of it was coming to an end. That was when she got tapped on the shoulder.

"Ah Pansy. I'm your cousin."

That was when Pansy turned around to face her older cousin. Here was her chance to kill the man that had taken her inheritance. "I should have talked to you sooner, but I had no idea till someone said your name. Then tonight, Horace kept on talking about how you are my cousin. Then I said to myself that I probably shouldn't run away from you. Though in a lot of ways, you remind me of my mother."

Pansy had never heard anyone say that to her. Usually, they thought that she was vindicate, manipulative, and a bit of the b word. Ironically, GOB meant all those things too. Plus, they had similar hair cuts. However, Pansy's heart seemed to grow three sizes that day which is interesting due to the fact that it was usually full of warmth for only one: Draco Malfry.

"Cousin George, I don't know what to say. I'll try to be a better family member as well." Hugging him, it caused a picture to fall out of GOB's pocket. "Who's this?"

"Well, that's my nephew, George Michael Bluth. He's not much with the ladies. I just got word that my idiot brother sent him to some school in Europe." However, George Oscar Bluth's words seem to float above Pansy as she fell in love with the unknown boy in the picture. Maybe there is just something in the blood?

"He's so dreamy. Look at that frail face, he has the Parkinson nose as well. Oh he has such a pale complexion as well" GOB had already left to have a date with his traditional after pageant date Miss Second Runner Up.

Let's just end it there.

On the next Magical Development

- Michael finds out that Lindsay is not his sister. And that the man that he thought was his father is in fact not.

- George Michael starts getting letters from a cousin that freak him out. But not as much as his new friend and mentor, Lord Voldemort does.

- GOB gets to meet Cederic Diggory's ghost. "What do you mean you haunt her?"


	5. Chapter 5: Love InCousinly

Magical Development

Part 5 of 7

Love InCousinly

Since becoming aware that she had a cousin her own age, Pansy had started to talk more to GOB about his likes and dislikes. In fact this was probably the worst time to start talking to GOB.

This was due to his little problem that usually happen after pageants that he had a tendency to have small affairs. However, his latest conquest was of age in the wizarding world, so it really wasn't an issue. No, the big issue for GOB was that he had not come to work the next morning, and with his assistant on leave, he nearly had gotten sacked if Dumbledore hadn't just walked into defend GOB for his tardiness. So, he had become increasing stressed especially with Pansy following him.

"So, does George Michael like chocolate frogs?"

GOB was a bit disturbed by this question. Looking at the girl in robes with a green and white tie, he just looked at her like she was surely insane. "That's insane!" Closing the door on his young cousin, GOB sat down to the other thing bothering him. "So faker! Have you been fired yet?"

Ever since GOB had taken a certain 3rd place Ravenclaw to his quarters, he had been haunted by a ghost. Then again, GOB had gotten to know quite a few ghost at Hogwarts. His favorite was the Bloody Baron due to the fact that he reminded him of his brother, Michael always in remorse. However, this new ghost really bothered him. In the empty classroom, GOB just wanted to get rid of the fellow.

"Ok, I gave up smoking my afternoon delight! Will you leave me alone?" The ghost smiled. He wanted to make life terrible for GOB. In all honesty, he didn't mind if Cho went out with wizards like Harry Potter, but GOB was a totally different issue. Especially since, he was just in it for the other type of "afternoon delight." That was why Cedric kept on bothering GOB trying to get him fired. "So, have you guessed my name yet?"

Banging his head, GOB just fell over. When he raised his head, the first year students entered the room. "Ah students . . . I just was trying to get rid of a . . .," GOB for lack of words couldn't think of anything to say except something that he had heard the strange fifth year student say. "Nergals. Best method is to bang your head." In a way, GOB was correct since Nergal was a Babylonian Deity who was ruled over the underworld. So it might be possible that he had demonstrated the correct method for ignoring a ghost. In fact, he had.

In fact, it was his best lesson in his short history at Hogwarts. Though the first years had severe headaches afterwards. However, GOB needed help. And there was only one person that he had ever trusted in such things. Between his break from the first years and seventh year, he decided to send that someone a letter. At the same time, he would have to get help from his cousin. "Until I discover that stupid specter's name, I'm going to continue to have headaches."

Back in Anaheim, Michael arrived at his mother's apartment after not receiving a letter. At that moment, his mother was looking at a strange item. Holding open the strange parchment was Oscar Bluth. "Would you hold it higher, Oscar?" Ever since losing her main source of csh, Lucille had been looking for a way to get her fortune in galleons back. To no avail, so she had received a Wizarding family tree from someone in England.

Michael watched as his mother traced her name down from her father. She ignored her younger sister's line. "That wont work! And Tom is to busy with his attempts at world domination to turn for anything." Looking at the chart, Michael saw three separate forks on the chart odd of Luxille. Of course, there was her connection with George Bluth Sr. that resulted in GOB, but what Michael was shocked by was the word squib by both of his parent's names. Then he noticed next to his name was the most unsurprising fork. He had guessed for awhile that Oscar was Buster's father, but squib was written next to Buster name. Oscar had Wizard written next to his name, but there was a stranger aspect. It also said hyphenated next to his uncle was written depowered. His eyes looked at his own name again next. Below him was George Michael, but again squib was written next to his wife. What did that word mean? There was no Lindsey for some odd reason, but what surprised him most was who his father was listed as . . .

"Mom, what is this thing?"

Lucille nearly jumped out of her skin. Oscar who was in one of his trances hadn't noticed anything. "Oscar, why didn't you say anything?" The man who had apparently been out of it just kind of looked at the ceiling. "You said Lopey not Michael. Also, I need my medicine or else the CIA will come and get me again," announced Oscar who plopped over to get his "afternoon delight."

Lucille shook her head. Picking up her hourly bourbon on the rocks, she sat down as Michael sat down. "Where's Lindsay for that matter on this chart, and what the hell is a squib?"

Lucille took a big slurp of her drink. It was time to tell Michael the truth. "Well, you see I am a squib. Basically, I'm a disgrace to my entire family due to having no power. However, you and GOB are wizards. Your father and I didn't want you to grow up in the American Wizarding World especially with its great example of Wizards."

In fact, the American Wizarding Community was known for such great historic event as the Salem Witch Trials, the American Civil War, and advising Franklin Delano Roosevelt to use a bit of magic on the Constitution. In fact, that wasn't the worst of their crimes. Though the using of black magic to acquire more land in Salem by blaming innocent people was a pretty big crime, it was the creation of almost ninety percent of the newer illegal drugs American Wizard in an attempt to control the American population. Problem was that they became addicted to it more than the regular population. Since the 1960's, the American Wizrads were nearly impossible to distinguish from hippies.

"If you had succumb to some of their same mistakes, what would my father say. Lilly Lucille, you have let your sons become no better than muggles. So I had Fudge put the protective charm on you to supplant GOB and your powers. Though . . ."

Michael interrupted his mother. "What about Lindsay!" That was when Lucille finally revealed. something that was to say the least disturbing. "Lindsay is the daughter of a gypsy family that we used to get over that damn baldy Stidwell. I think that they were the Van Dooms or Van Dammes. It was Van something."

With news that his twin wasn't, Michael wondered why his father wasn't listed with a name. "So, who is my father?"

"He can't be named. For a long time, he looked for ways to get a pureblood bride, but by the time that he was at his zenith, he lost his ability to reproduce due to his magic. However before that, we had a rendevous that resulted in you due to him disguising himself as George."

Michael was distraught. "So, you are telling me that my father is not George Sr., and that wizards try to run the country."

Lucille smiled. "You've got the basic idea. The problem is that the wizards in this country have no idea how to use their magic correctly. Instead they just blunder over themselves in attempt to use their magic on television ads that just end up seeming insane."

Michael had one bigger question other than why there were about a hundred names under GOB. Really, it is quite absurd that GOB has been to that many pageants. However, you have to realize that he lives in Southern California where there are always pageants going on. "So why haven't I done any magic?"

Lucille smiled. "That's because I weeded it out of you by crushing your spirit. GOB on the other hand, slipped through the cracks. It was a two prong attack in combination with Fudge."

It was at this point that Michael decided to go to Hogwarts to see his brother. It was also it this point that the plan of two different men had suddenly turned the corner.

Albus Dumbledore smiled proudly as he realized that his plan that he had realized four months ago right before he might have put on the Gaunt ring when he read GOB's autobiography that was written by someone other than GOB. "Soon, I will not have to worry about risking anymore lives. Everything is going according to plan."

"It better or me and the other headmasters will just make fun of you for the rest of time," said the Current holder of the Title of Worst Headmaster Ever, Walter E. Mudd. The fact that he lasted twenty minutes in the job after a student had accidently left a baby horntail dragon in his chair still caused much mirth among the paintings. He always hoped for someone to take that title away.

As Michael made preparations to go to the United Kingdom, GOB was meeting with Pansy. "So Pansy. Have there been any dead Hodgepuffers recently?"

Pansy was a little taken aback but a sly smile crossed her face. "You mean a Hufflepuff, and there was Trevor Glass who shattered last year right before his NEWTs. And oh there was Martha Shortening who feel in a vat of cookie dough right before her transfiguration final. Such a tragedy, I almost got her on my tongue."

"No, this guy seems competent and almost too good to be a Hodgepuffer."

It was at that point that Pansy knew exactly who her cousin was trying to describe in her six years at Hogwarts. There was only one Hufflepuff who ever seemed to matter, and that was the most celebrated Hufflepuff actually. However, Pansy being a Parkinson wanted something else. "Well, I know who you are talking about, but I need George Michael likes and dislikes immediately to give you this information."

GOB wasn't sure about this arrangement, but it wasn't like he had much choice. If he didn't get rid of that ghost, he'd have to replace more of the stuff that he accidently ran into like that odd bust with the female looking crown on it. Some real queens had either attended or run this place was GOB's reasoning. The fact that the crown that he had found fell into an open fire that seemed to cause great gobs of something like blood to appear hadn't really bothered GOB. Except for it now haunted him just as much as that damn ghost.

"Ok, George Michael has pretty simple likes and dislikes. However, his favorite thing in the world is Star Wars."

Pansy starting skipping out of the room. She had finally found a cousin that would date her; her dream of having nearly pureblood grandchildren was almost complete. Before she forgot she gave her cousin what he wanted. "Oh, the boy's name is Cedric Diggory."

As Michael packed, he suddenly realized that Maeby was home from school. "Maeby, what are you doing here?" Maeby who had been skipping school off and on for nearly a year had decided to take care of her hamster that day and also skip work as well where she was the youngest movie producer in town..

"Well Uncle Mike, I've got Spring Break."

"Oh, that makes sense. Just don't go stealing any purses, ok?" At that point, Michael suddenly realized that he had an idea. "Maeby since its Spring Break, I'm taking you to Europe with me. Plus, your mother seems to have neglected her duties as parent, so I might make sure that you are getting raised right."

Telling her to pack her bags, Maeby decided to do the request. However, Michael had to go to the attic where he had to hand someone over. Someone who had been lying to him for years.

"Dad, why didn't you tell me that you family was a bunch of wizards?"

George Sr. who was now wearing a Rastafarian hat and claimed also to be His Imperial Majesty shook. "Damn that Fudge, man!"

Michael sat there as his father stammered for a minute. "Well, you see your grandfather Walter Bluth was a great and powerful wizard, but he made a ton of mistakes not the least being he married a witch named Wendy Witcheson. My mother was batty and liked wearing red pajama all the time."

Michael rolled his eyes as he listened and glanced at his watch. "So, I couldn't do any magic thanks to Mom creating a horrible potion that later caused my hair loss and bouts of idiocy." It was at that point that George started to shake his head back and forth.

However, it was also at that point that George Sr. was saved from investigation that had tried to link him with Greywolf of Persia since CIA West and East finally went over their operations for the last ten years under Operation Let's Talk. That's when Michael got a phone call from Wayne Jarvis. "Michael, your father is a free man. It turns out that everything was just a simple misunderstanding."

Michael crushed put down his cell phone. "Dad, you are free to go. Apparently all the charges have been dropped. You mean that I can go back to my condo and punch that damn hairy and magical brother of mine." Michael nodded. Suddenly George Sr. ran down the attic stairs. This left Michael alone to figure out if he needed more socks.

Michael and Maeby that night bored a plane.

At the same moment, George Michael was walking with a man who had great interest in him because of his talents in everything except for the Dark Arts. For whatever reason, Geroge Michael just was not particular evil. In fact, he was practically nice. Considering that the lad had been in all honors courses, he was exceptional at picking up information.

"You did excellent on your transfiguration test, my boy. I do belief that I have never seen a better coat into cot spell in my life. Though your marks are not as good in Dark Arts. You must remember that they are merely tools for the common good."

George Michael had enjoyed his chats with the strange man, but his way of thinking was disturbing to say the least.

"But I don't want to hurt anyone."

"Then what are convictions if you are not willing to back them up. Most of all the greatest conviction is . . ." Snape interrupted what the Dark Lord was about to say with news. "My Lord, the man that you wanted tracked in America is half way across the Atlantic at the moment. Do you wish for me to greet him?"

Severius Snape hoped that his images in his head of green eyes helped as usual. This bored the Dark Lord more than anything, so he usually didn't stay in his mind. However, the Dark Lord seemed lighter than usually almost calm. "No Sanpe, you will accomplish me and this gifted student to Hogsmeade. Bella will be the one to greet him on arrival and guide him to Hogswarts."

Snape raised an eyebrow wondering if both men that he took orders for knew what they were doing. Bellatrix had also had horrible muggle driving skills, but then again Dumbledore had bet on this plan as well. "Then I shall do as you ask. Does the young master have a broom?"

"Of course, I have provided this prodigy with the finest broom, a Firebolt 7000 with optional golden coating. Only the best for one of his blood!"

George Michael was confused to say the least, but he followed his private tutor and Snape out the door.

George Oscar Bluth sat at his desk watching the ghost. "So, have you guess yet, numbnuts?" Though GOB had not yet being able to appriate or even make a descent potion that caused hair growth. He really wanted that one too. He had become a master at magical puppetry.

Suddenly a brownish puppet jumped down from the ceiling. "Yo Fool! The master of Disaster. The man with the Plan knows your name, Cedric Diggory. Oh YEAH!"

GOB smiled as the apparition feel back. This was almost better than getting Tony Wonder back. Actually that had occurred two month prior after GOB had used a FLOO network to go to one of Tony Wonder's shows. There he had exchanged the bottled water with a formula that caused the victim's bread to become pure mold instantly by touch. An old potion rarely used anymore since people don't survive on bread alone anymore. It was the best night that GOB had ever.

However, Diggory sighed. "You know the only reason that I did this was to prevent you from hurting Cho. My God man, you are almost her father's age. Then again, he is git too. I pray that you learn your lesson. Something Dark this Way Comes."

"Dark, I am the Master of the Defense Against the Dark Arts!" shouted GOB at nothing.

Michael arrived in the United Kingdom to something unexpected as a strange woman with a silvery streak down her hair in a fancy dress held a sign that said Michael Bluth. "Oh over here, you great man!"

Michael after several moments decided that the woman was talking to him. "Madam, I am Michael Bluth, but I didn't make any arrangements for my arrival only a hotel room for the night for me and my niece."

Bellatrix had to come up with a plan, but then again, she had a thing for him for some odd reason. He was so vibrant like her master. The only thing that she could think about was rabbits. Then it occurred to her that the Dark Lord had mentioned that his brother was working at Hogwarts. "Well, you brother Bob sent me." Michael who had once created a song as a child to prevent him from going with strangers broke the first line of the song instantly. "Well, I'm sure GOB probably figured it out when he got my e-mail."

Bellartrix nodded her head. "Yes, he . . . can I have your babies. . . received your message via the informuggle network several days ago. You know its faster for our type."

Michael followed the strange woman as Maeby carried a hamster cage with a quite annoyed hamster who was cranky.

Pansy was overjoyed that she finally discovered what Star Wars was. She had been playing with her hair all morning. After much conversation with the mudblood Hermoine Granger who was the first person that Pansy knew who would probably know what Star Wars was. She had decided to go to Hogsmeade that morning to investigate the Muggle entertainment phenomenon by going to a shop that carried information on such trivialities.

As she arrived in the town, she noticed an odd muggle with a hamster in a cage. "What is a muggle doing in Hogsmeade anyhow?" she wondered. Deciding that the girl might know more about the elusive Star Wars, Pansy walked up to her and tried to be on her best behavior.

"Ah girl, do you know anything about Star Wars?"

The girl was taken aback by that comment. When she had lived in Boston, her parents being the progressive type banned all forms of entertainment that might contain war or any form of violence. This basically left no Disney films at all or anything else entertaining. Even nature films were banned. The only thing that Maeby had been allowed to watch was movies starring Barbara Streisand which left young Maeby bored, unexcited, and quite disturbed.

"Yeah, my cousin loved the stupid thing. What's with the hairdo, trying to be a Princess?"

answered and questioned Maeby as she examined the girl. With one of the famous Princess Leia buns on the back of her head, Maeby could only guess that the girl was mental retarded just like the rest of her kind. However, Pansy could no longer take this kind of insult.

"How dare you insult me! All I asked was for a simple quetion, and this is the kind of response that I get from a muggle!"

"Oh is that some anti-American slang. First Colonials then Gumps, now muggles. Speak bloddy English already!"

"English, you don't even understand the finer dictates of the language. It took your kind two thousand years to actually speak it right!"

This attracted the attention of other students including one Harry Potter who was wondering why this was being discussed. Suddenly his scar just went blazing hot when it had been silent all summer and most of the last year. "Ron, it feels like he is coming."

Inside the castle, he wonder why his escort had changed when they boarded the train into an ebony woman with plainer robes. Then again, her constant drinking from a bottle had made him glad that she hadn't been drinking when she drove to Victoria Station considering how she drove, but this palace that his niece Maeby couldn't see for some odd reason was constantly changing.

"If that old goat hasn't moved everything around, the Defense Classroom should be here," said the disguised Bellatrix. She knew that her master would be in Hogsmeade in a few minutes, and she could drop the facade. Michael walked into the room as Bellatrix slipped away. Though it was tough for her. She really did want to have Michael's child since she had only married her husband due to the Dark Lord persuading her. Then again, he said that couldn't have children fifteen years ago. However, he had a son, and she possibly could bore the Dark Lord a grandson. It set her eyes with a dreamy gaze.

Skipping up the steps, she smiled as she noticed the various Death Eaters in the air following their Dark Lord. Now was the time, she raised her arm into the air with her wand.

It shot up the Dark Mark above the school.

GOB was speechless as Michael walked in. "Michael, I can't believe it."

Michael though annoyed about the trouble to get him sat down in a chair. "Next time, send a more normal driver to pick me up."

GOB suddenly realized that something was horribly wrong other than the screaming eleven and twelve years old outside. Plus there were a couple of Professors as well. "I've made a horrible mistake," said both brothers.

Dumbledore just walked by humming some odd tune. He pecked through the door. "Ah both Mr. Bluths, I dare say that everything is going according to plan. However, you might want to come to the battlements. I believe Michael's father has arrived."

Of course, Hogwarts had defenses for such a thing, but the one thing that it could never defend against was family. You see a rule that had been placed there by the Founder Helga Hufflepuff was that family could never be divided by Hogswarts, so any parent could see their child if he or she was in the building no matter what spells were on the school.

Helga Hufflepuff was not what most would call super intelligent. Nice and jolly woman, but not know for her brilliant moves.

Maeby watched as hundreds of hooded figures on brooms appeared. "You know this would make a great movie. Attack of the Witches. ILM could begin work next week as I get some hack writer like Akiva Goldman to write it."

Pansy had no idea what anything that girl said. However, she knew one thing. She didn't want to lose her only link to attracting her cousin. She grabbed the girl and ran into the Hog's Head. There she sees Harry Potter who with his friends was trying to formulate a battle strategy.

"Ron, I had no idea that Voldermort would be so bold."

"Harry, there is a Slytherian Spy in the room."

The various people in Dumbledore's Army turned their head to focus on Pansy who slowly lifted her hand and smiled as Maeby just complained. "Wow, this place is a dump."

It was at that point that Harry shouted.

"Just keep her and the other girl inside the pub. I think that we have bigger problems." And Potter was right as the magical barriers around Hogswarts designed to keep Voldermort out showed no effect.

But for Pansy who was being taken away suddenly noticed something of interest. "Oh Lucky Day, my cousin George Michael is out there!" Maeby was a bit shocked. "This country does have problems with its morals. Wait, did you say George Michael?"

Pansy rolled her eyes. "Well, I'm your cousin too," annouced Maeby. Ron and Ginny looked at each other and gagged. "Blood Mania has reached a new level of insanity."

On the Next Magical Development:

- Certain Object from previous chapters have effects on the outcome of Voldemort's entrance into Hogwarts.

- A certain hamster is freed from his course only to discover that he is quite nude upon becoming human.

- Lastly a family will be reunited.


	6. Chapter 6: Segfall

Magical Development

Part 6 of 7

Segfall

Two men had been plotting for six months to come to the one point. It could be argued in strange and sick ways that both wanted nothing but noble intentions. One was to reunite a father and son, but the other is to save a way of life.

"Dumbledore, I've waited a long time to finally be welcomed back into Hogwarts," said the snake faced man as he struggled against the struggling barriers. "Why don't you just wait for the Class Reunion that is coming up, Tom," remarked Albus "He sure has a lot of names" Dumbledore. The man who hated being called Tom smiled back. "The owl you sent tried to bite me."

"Oh my apologizes, we only send those to the evil former students. You wouldn't be one of those now, Mr. Riddle," laughed Dumbledore from a tower. "Laugh now old man! I'll be having lunch in your office."

Harry Potter watching from the Hog's Head noticed a certain Death Eater that he had passion against coming that way. And in an instant with another lad came towards the inn that was built by a deranged goblin around 1764. But after the second Goblin Rebellion, it became the property of Walter E. Hogg, a wizard of such notoriety. In 1798, he caused five wizards to give up eating entirely due to his horrible cooking.

Regardless, the door opened and Severious Snape threw the lad to the ground. "You stay here with the other children. If this all goes correctly, I might yet live," said Snape. Potter was ready to strike, but he tripped on a goat. His spell of stupify rebounded and hit a spoon which was enchanted by a spell to make food taste better.

This will probably go on for a couple of minutes. Anyhow as the beam of magic bounded around, Maeby noticed that she had dropped her hamster. Then she noticed that her cousin George Michael was a bit bewildered on the floor. "You know I think that I liked life better when all I had to look forward to was the next algebra problem," sighed George Michael.

Harry Potter who understood nothing of algebra wondered why anyone would want to do Algebra problems. However, it was at that point that Pansy Parkinson who had reoriented her back to normal went to help George Michael up. "Oh you poor boy," she cooed.

Ron Weasley, a boy of little knowledge, finally came to a startling conclusion as he elbowed his sister Ginny. "You reckon that bloke is Pinky Pansy's cousin." Ginny laughed and bowed her head to avoid the blast that was still rebounding off of silverware.

"Ron, I think that we should be more worried about the rebounding energy coming from all corners," said Hermonie. Harry Potter not being exactly a prick except for a couple of youthful times where he just got angst noticed that his mark hadn't burned yet. Instead, he helped the boy up who obviously was wearing clothes from a much cooler climate like Durmstrung. "My name is Harry. Are you okay?" asked the boy who had lived and made billions in another plain of existence.

George Michael on the other hand was still trying to figure out what that strange almost soothing sound coming from his right was since he was blinded by a figure of his female idea. Of course Maeby was over there, but this heavenly angel to his right. "I'm George Michael Bluth. I think that you meet my cousin Maeby, and who is this. . .," mumbling at the end George Michael looked at Pansy. There was something that he couldn't get over. ". . . Angel?"

"Oh that's you other cousin apparently," said Luna Lovegood zoning in and out. "Oh my goodness, Lord Voldermort is about to squish the Reptile Prince of Albion!" Several other students went to the window, but they saw nothing.

George Michael could believe what was being said. Especially after the girl who said turned out to be a loon. Or it is possible that Prince Lizard Larry of the House GreenTail merely got out of the way. Quite annoying as well, he scheduled to have tea with his old friend Doubledore as well.

That is always the way isn't it?

However, Pansy had taken this opportunity to pet her object of her desire. "Dear Sweet Prince, I am merely Pansy Parkinson. A humble girl of near pure blood," she coed. This was weird for George Michael who typically was hated by all woman unlike his recently discovered cousin Steve Holt who suddenly got a free ride to the University of California at Magic Mountain. Again the Wizarding World in America really needs better names.

"So, why do you remind me of my Pooky?" This had a different conation to British Wizards especially purebloods. Pansy couldn't help his obvious come ons. The fact that it was not meant that way by him didn't matter to the blood obsessed girl. "I swear sweet beloved that I shall be a good wife and witch."

Maeby couldn't take it anymore. "What is wrong with this country? Next you'd think that she want Poppop." With that Maeby seeing a shiny dropped galleon in the floorboard. Picking it up, she bounced the magically beam out an open window.

Outside the beam hit a small cage that exploded. Several Hogsmeade citizens and Death Eaters suddenly noticed a naked muggle wandering around screaming. "Oh my dear, I naked and cold."

Avoiding the Death Eaters who were just dumbstruck by the muggle running around like a moron. "Sir, I need clothes," he said to one fellow. Little did they know that the poor fellow was a never nude, but in the Wizarding World nakedness was a crime punishable by no less than three months in Azkaban since most wizards could at least conjure cloths from rags. However, the man that Tobias had discovered was the local Auror of Hogsmeade, Montgomery Terrybag.

Even with the Death Eaters, he threw Tobia Funke into a brig.

Back at Hogswarts, Severious Snape appeared by taking the wailing shake route back up to the top of building where he meet the Headmaster. "This is insanity, Albus. If we had just ignored this idea of family, we wouldn't be facing an overwhelming force," he said.

With a smile that he had once used on Queen Victoria, Dumbledore merely asked George Oscar Bluth to come closer. "George if you would call for that wonderful motorized device that you told me about that you sent into void?"

"A segway! Why in the world should that matter?" said a mad Michael Bluth or should it be Riddle.

"Ah you shall see. So full of questions?" said Dumbledore.

Severious sighed as GOB mumbled a couple of spells. "Retrievo Segway," said the man in GOB's ear. The with a great booming voice, GOB spoke. "RETRIEVO SEGWAY"

Shooting out of his substandard wand was a beam that locked onto his Segway. However, the beam was a little off, and as it came down as Dumbledore had predicted.

A giant burning mass suddenly and without warning came down at several thousand miles per hour. It was called swamp gas by NASA. Whatever, it hit Voldermort square in the chest and due to other magic barriers on Hogwarts exploded even more than usual.

The Death Eaters were shocked to say the least. So dumbfound most just stood there as they got taken away. Their leader struggled to stand up. His right arm started to reform after it had melted off, but the aurors captured him in no time. Though ironically no one found Bellatrix Lestrange.

And that was truly a magical development.


	7. Chapter 7: This Was Magical Development

Magical Development

Part 7 of 7

This Was Magical Development

- After defeating Voldermort, GOB was given another book contract. Though he was quietly fired from Hogswarts because he incompetent. He was invited back to judge the next year Miss Hoggy Warts Competition again. Ironically, he found an assistant in a madman named Lockhart who had some notes for making really good memory charms. Further books followed with many assistants with odd cases of amnesia.

- Ironically, George Michael was taken back to an American school by his father. However when he went to college, he discovered that Pansy Parkinson followed. And for some odd reason, Maeby followed him as well. Blood mania and all that.

- Lucille never did get her money back from GOB. However the US government unleashed her other assets, so she really didn't care.

- Harry Potter went on to marry some girl in this story. I won't say who, but she does have red hair. Oh just go read Deathly Hollows! Just because it destroyed your pairing doesn't mean it was too bad.

- As for Michael, he went back for more prison visits.

"So Michael, I see that you haven't adapted to being my son yet. Still wearing the clothes of the oppressive Muggles!" Michael couldn't believe that he was in this situation again. Here he was in a common room in a jail.

"So are there treating you fine, d-Dad?" With his snake like face, Voldermort smiled. "Are you kidding this is the best place in the world. I've got all my friends here. Even a muggle who is good for a laugh. Keeps on upsetting the Wizengarnot by claiming that they need to open their feelings. Lucius had a great little trick where he made the man dance for some cloths. We call him House Elf."

Michael was a bit upset by this, but then again, he was still disturbed by the sudden change in Lindsey who seemed to be like that British woman that had picked him up from the airport the year before. Even though, it was disturbing that Lindsey was constantly drinking now; she took being told that she was adopted as the greatest moment of her life. Then again, it was good to know that Tobias was finally get real help. Though he wished that Lindsey didn't keep trying to sneak into bed with him. Though that stop recently for some odd reason, and gone on an extending vacation after convincing him to go to a doctor.

"I do have one request, Michael," said Voldermort with a twinkle in his eye. Michael had gotten use to this request. "Can your old Dad get a hug?"

As the two went to embrace as father and son. A auror yelled back. "No touching!"

Author Notes

This has been near impossible to write because honestly it is insane to write due to the basic problem in trying to combine the cheerful writing of J.K. Rowling and sarcastic styling of Mitchell Hurwitz. It is complicated to write a bit of sheer awe with a cynic wit. And I vow to never due it again unless it is my own characters.

However, I've finally finished what I said that I do for my sister, so I hope that she appreciates it. And yes, I realize that I left open a lot of stuff. However, there will be no sequels.

Bellatrix is still at large due to the fact that well she wants something specifically from Michael that well her Voldypoo couldn't provide. Darn Horrorcruxes.


End file.
